I thank you dearly for your devotion to my students’ non-sequitors over the past few years, and I’d like to inform you of a change coming up.
Next year, I will move to teaching high school, and as such, I have decided to also move my students’ quotes over to a new website: Stuff High Schoolers Say. While I could have continued it here, I kind of wanted to leave this site as it is: an homage to my years in the middle school trenches. Not to mention the fact that now, I plan to allow my students to follow the site as well.
I do hope that you continue to follow their exploits on the new site once the school year begins, because I feel that high schoolers will bring a whole new dynamic to the table.
<Ran into Tom Thumb at 11:32pm for milk.> “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.” <I jump and whip around.> “You know, that was my ear you just yelled in.” “MISS.” “WHAT?” “Your hair is…woooooooooooow.” “Purple. We call this color purple. It’s my favorite. You know that.” “Yeah, but…oh my GAH, Miss. What is wrong with you?” “Right now? Well, all I want to do is buy some milk in the middle of the night and there’s some weird kid yelling at me.” “That hair makes you sharper.” “Thanks.” “Like, you know, your wit.” “I got that.” <Student continues to stare.> “I’m leaving now.” “Am I asleep?” “Yes. You’re sleepwalking. Now go home.”
“Did the US tie with Germany?” “No, we lost.”
“What? We were supposed to tie so we could both go! They lied to us! This is just like World War II all over again! Except they’re not hiding 6 million Jews.”
<My yearbook students were helping me with a little classroom update.> “Why are you painting that part?” “The ratched wood needs to be pretty too. People can change. Transformation Tuesday!” <pause> “OH, it’s ACTUALLY TUESDAY!”
“Miss, can you stand up so I can take a picture of you to remember you better?” “Okay.” <I stand up and pose, kid takes photo.> “I’m going to put this on Instagram. And Kick!” “Make it your Kick profile picture!” “Won’t that confuse people?” “SO? They should know that you’re my favorite teacher!”